is it me or is it this city that got me so stressed out? sometimes it got me thinking the "what ifs". what are the possibilities for me to go back to the place where i think i belong. is it this city or the city that i used to lived in?
i asked myself again, where do i want to be?
the simple question starts from, what do i really miss? living in the city where the sound of the police woke me up late in the middle of the night, neighbors bumping the bass that vibrated through my walls, house parties on my block, the screaming from domestic abuse or the fighting and gun shots from street violence.
who do i miss? the city where i can walked through the block and encountered with african americans ballin', puerto ricans listening to salsa on the house stairs, chinese running a corner take out restaurant where everyone ordered "chicken wings with fried rice", or all the artist and hipsters in the area walking around like they own the street.
do i miss my morning breakfast? a shop by the subway station where i could eat greasy cheese pizza by the slice or ordered a bagel with lox from bergen bagel, across from michael's pizza parlor on other days when i'm sick of pizza.
but mostly what do i really miss in the morning? the noise from the subway train while waiting for my ride to the city. sometimes i get lucky and caught up with my train right away or other times i just waited forever.
what about the smell? before i hoped in the subway, how refreshing was the smell of funky underground sewers, mixed with the over crowded people with different aroma perfumes.
i missed staring at these new yorkers, each with their own agenda and destinations. the dirt, the dirty and the dirtiest, all got together in a tube that rides along the rails through manhattan bridge.
but no matter how horrible this might sound to you, this is the city that i've grown to love, its the city with character that suits me. so... should i be back?
new york, 2006
